25 Things I Wish I knew When I was A Little Girl

  1. Those siestas (a.k.a afternoon naps) that your grandma keeps shoving down your throat will be missed as you grow older.
  2. You will lose a lot of sleep in college.
  3. You have to eat a lot of bananas so you wouldn’t have potassium problems.
  4. You will loathe the pink princess dress that you like right now. You’ll start hating it when you turn 10.
  5. The “relationships” your elementary school classmates have is not as serious as you thought, though some of them did get pregnant early… just be glad you are not one of them.
  6. You and your younger brother will stay close.182289_189873001034079_5985894_n
  7. Your younger brother who looks like whale will grow up to be way taller than you, he’ll also have a better active life than you.
  8. You will end up looking like a whale when you turn 16 and in your first year of college.fat-ass-sonuvabitch
  9. You will not graduate on time… But no worries I haven’t graduated as well. 😛
  10. Your parents will go on their separate ways when you turn 15.
  11. You will rarely draw anything at the 19.
  12. You need to learn how to save money.
  13. The makeup that you loathed so much in your early teens will be your creative outlet when you reach 17-onwards.
  14. You will get bullied in high school, bring a lot of courage with you on your first day.
  15. You’ll still love anime.
  16. You will be an avid shipper.
  17. You’ll still like wearing heels.
  18. You’ll have a baby half-brother on the year 2007, and a baby half-sister on 2015. photo1584e001
  19. Mestiza girls are going to be your type.
  20. You’ll stop chorale singing at age 16.
  21. You’ll learn to sing properly at 18. You won’t struggle with high notes anymore. 😉
  22. You’ll end up being a cat person instead of the dog person that you were raised to be. 😀 photo5763
  23. You can tell your mom that your crush right now is a girl.
  24. You’ll fell in love with a girl (or three).
  25. Everything won’t be easy, but it’s gonna be okay.

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What Type of Person Am I?

I’m the type of person who will laugh at almost anything, sometimes even on the concept of death. You can call me anything you want and I wouldn’t care. Maybe I’ll act like I do, since that is what society is expecting; but really I don’t give a flying fuck. Actually nowadays, giving a fuck seems to be a problem for me, since I just can’t give a fuck about anything. But I’ll get a laugh out of almost anything.

But there are certain things that can get on my nerves… for example if you insult my mother, brother or anyone else in my family. You can expect a punch in the face or maybe a kick in the stomach. I wouldn’t care who the flying fuck you are. And I’m paranoid for the safety of people who are close to me. To the point that when I go to a house I tend to try and find where items that can be used for self defense like knives, brooms and even forks are located, just in case that some bad people would come and barge in… at least I could defend myself and the people with me. And even if I die, at least I served as a diversion and the people with me can escape.

Aside from that, I tend to always have a pen inside my pocket or in my bag, regardless of where I’m going. I do that, because of two reasons; the first reason is because I might need to write something, like when inspiration hits. The other is back to self defense, a pen is actually a very effective self defense tool, even better than pepper spray and rape whistle in my opinion, since you can just jam that on on a person’s leg or eye ( O.o >>> I’m pretty sure you are making this face right now…).

So to put things short, I’m a bit of a sociopath… But really I won’t hurt anyone unless they gave a reason. I’m always ready to defend myself or the people close to me. I was not raised in a sheltered environment. I saw people get killed, I saw a man bleeding on the side of the damn highway because someone shot him in the head, I saw people chasing each other with knives and I’ve been with enough fake people to know when people are acting like a fake bitch in front of me.

I’ve felt hunger, I’ve known the feeling of wanting desperately to eat, but not being able to do so because you can’t afford shit. I know the feeling of having a dead best friend, since my best friend was shot dead in 2014… I know the feeling of seeing someone dying and not being able to help… because I also needed help. I know the feeling of crying helplessly like a child because everything in my life is falling apart in front of me and I can’t do shit about it.

I know the feeling of seeing my parents cry because they feel like they failed as a parent. I know the feeling of walking a kilometer or more just to get some cash so my brother and I could go to school. I know the feeling of seeing my brother crying because he really want to go to school but he can’t.

I learned  to hold in my own tears, and to suck it up; because people around me are already bawling their fucking eyes out.

But with these experiences, I learned a lot of things. I learned to value what I have, I learned to value the people around me, I learned to be independent, I learned to not wait for things, but get them myself, I learned to fight, I learned to be aware of the things around me. And most of all, I learned to grow up. (and I learn how to value my money… -_- ) I learned that after everything the world wont wait up for me, I need to get up and move on.

The things I went through might seem extreme to some people but trust me, there are a lot of people that experienced and still experiencing much worse. I actually still consider myself pretty lucky. I have a roof over my head, I have clothes on, I have a family, I still get to eat. And I still breathe.

I didn’t make this post to solicit pity, or kindness; because I hate being pitied the most… I just made made this frankly because I want to… I’m not ashamed of who I am, I am not ashamed to tell people the things I’ve experienced. I’m not afraid to tell you who I am… I’m a woman, I’m a part of the LGBT community, I’m a Filipino, I’m a christian, I’m almost 21, I’m a cat person, I’m a Slytherin (in Pottermore), I’m an Aries, I’m alive.

And I wouldn’t change everything even if given the chance to do so. Because I’m proud of who I am.

(and here is the part when I say: thanks for reading… and see you all later. 🙂 )